I've just spent a week with a real woman and she's only been gone from my little world a few hours but I miss her already. It's gotten me thinking about what real people are to me. How do I choose the people I populate my heart with? Since I met my first real friend in 1984, I have been very sure of who I choose to spend my time with. I've never had casual friends nor spent much time with people who weren't dear to my heart. And I've never been apologetic for being that way. Today I've been wondering how I came to be like that and feeling really grateful for whatever it was that made me that way.
I was always the 3rd wheel in elementary school and by the time I got to middle school the social aspect of it all was so destructive for me, that my dad removed me from school altogether. I went back in grade 10 and that's when I met my soul sister, V. That was quite possibly my first introduction to what deep friendship could offer -- and the first real friend I let into my heart (besides my mum). Since then, I've settled for nothing less. Perhaps growing up with so few friends made it possible for me to not need many at any one time. And after that initial taste of real friendship, nothing else was ever acceptable to me. I moved around a lot, and never hesitated to let dear friends into the depths of my heart, despite the fact that I knew I might never see tham again after a year or two. As a result, I have many incredible people in my life, but scattered all over the globe.
Now I live in this small town where there is a clicky little group of hip (according to themselves) people who want to include me in their circle of friendship. Only one problem: there is no real friendship to be offered there. They talk like they're friends. They act like they're friends. But they are acquaintances with very little in common. And it makes me sad.
BUT, just like everywhere else my shoes have taken me, I have found real people here who offer real friendship. And what a gift it is.
I look at my children as they interact with their little friends and I wonder how they will be. Will they seek out real people? Only those who will call forth their best? Only those who uplift them and understand them and care for them at their deepest level? I can only hope. Maybe. someday...