Over the past few days some things have really come together for me. Martifly was telling me about an extraordinary retreat she went to on family relationships. She learned how the ‘flow of love’ works.
"It flows like a river….when two parents have a loving relationship, love flows to the children, and so on down the generations. But when a child isn’t filled up, and they think they need to care for the parent, the flow of love dams up." This resonated so strongly within me. I can't remember a time when I didn't feel I needed to care for my parent. And this is just exactly how I feel now, with my own children. When I'm triggered by something they do (the worst for me is when they're fighting with each other), the river of love within me dams up and I over-react with too much anger and have to shut everything down. I know intellectually what this is about and have blogged about it -- I felt I had to keep things peaceful in my nuclear family out of great fear of violence. And I know intellectually that I don't need to fear that now... blah blah blah. But the knowing doesn't always change the doing, you know?
Well, then today I went to see a healer and she told me some amazing things. First, that my own personal dominant element (in Chinese medicine) is wood. Nobody's ever told me that before. This is the element that contains forgiveness, compassion and patience. None of which are my strong suit! She said that she sensed that I'm depleted (I'm really working on my iron levels, but was told it will take about 3 months to bring them up to normal levels) and so I would be experiencing a lack of those things. And how! This makes sense of the strong judgment I feel, as well as the lack of compassion and patience with myself and others. She said that I have to cultivate the wood within me, and until I have enough wood, there won't be a very strong fire (energy, passion, excitement, verve). Doesn't that just make so much sense? Then she did a healing treatment on me with tuning forks calibrated to "om" and I had the most amazing visions during the hour she treated me. I saw myself sitting at the feet of Ghandi and
Amma. I saw myself doing sun salutations on a beach and then sitting and meditating in the early morning sun. I saw my face soften and I kept seeing the flow of my love building momentum. I kept seeing swirls and little houses built on sticks (and I don't know what that means except that when I lived in Malaysia I lived right on the ocean and was surrounded by houses built on sticks? maybe it went along with the visions of the ocean and the swirls?) I saw myself awaking morning after morning, greeting my children, doing a sun salutation, and then sitting in the sun to meditate. I saw my vision for myself -- one of calm and slowness and deliberateness and presence manifesting in my life. When I awoke from the treatment I had a profound feeling of peace and calmness and gratitude and hopefulness.
And now we're off to the ocean! Brent is in between jobs so we're taking these precious two weeks to just BE together as a family and to fill ourselves up! There's sure to be morning meditations and sun salutations on the beach... We'll be in Maui until the 26th. Aren't we blessed?! Ommmmmmm
p.s. My chinese zodiac sign is the rooster. So now I know I'm a wooden rooster!
This big six year old is making snowmen without ANY help...
and she can't decide if she wants to be a ballerina when she grows up...
or the next Santa Claus (really!)
And my poor old Grandma's still waiting to fly up with the birds to her next life... Say a little prayer for her journey, won't you?
Annika asked me to make her a doll like Pedar's Sweet Pea, so here is Rosalinda.
All Annika wanted was a treasure box with a key, but she was delighted with the contents as well. Her favourite was a little tin with all the supplies for doing handsewing. She's been handsewing ever since...
We had pancakes for supper, the night of her big day.
Before we left for Maui, Annika had made a wish for it to snow the day we got back. It did! She wasted no time in getting out there to make snow angels... 
We had a wonderful time in Maui. We spent most of our time on the beaches, but lots of time spent in the pool too. Annika got so she could swim across the pool by herself. A big step for her.
We went to a luau, where Annika was SO excited to learn how to do the beautiful dance. She raced up onto the stage when invited.
Good food!
Annika lost her front tooth right before the luau
We loved the strong Goddess culture there.
We couldn't get over the beautiful sunsets
Mermaids on the beach
Big waves at Big Beach
Windsurfers on the North beaches
Fun rental car
Squeals of joy
Schools of fish through the submarine window
We went to 366 feet below sea level
Haleakala volcano thrilled us all
The very south end
Walking through the most recent lava flow
We ate as much fruit as we could hold. The hardest thing about our holiday was all the garbage. Everything is sold in plastic so we tried to stick to fruit from the farmer's markets. It's tough to be earth-friendly when you're not at home!
We rode the Sugar Cane Train, kids were thrilled!
Each evening one of the kids would blow the conch in each of the 4 directions as the sun went down. We loved this ritual!
Annika would take her post up in the plumeria tree to watch the sun dip below the horizon. She was hoping to see the green flash at the instant it set.
Our other favourite pastime was watching the turtles. There were often 6 right there below us, great big Green Sea Turtles, feeding, swimming and surfing. They'd come up for air and look us right in the eye. We were enchanted.
Isn't she beautiful?
It was a better holiday than we could've imagined... the best thing we've done for our family in a long time.
The last evening we ate out to celebrate our strong family bond and our time in paradise... 
And it was a full moon! We swam in the pool under the moon every night. Pure magic. 
We've been blessed with the cutest little chicks there ever were. Annika and Pedar adore them and spend countless hours "caring" for them. Annika 
built this little stable by herself out of old cedar shingles, filled it with straw, carefull placed chicken wire around it to keep the babies safe and transports the chicks to the stable where she and Pedar feed them out of their hands. This little chick in her sweater is called "Bella" (yes, named after her adorable cousin) and is her favourite.
We had a spooky filled-with-fun day on Halloween. 
Lots of scarey masks (to scare off the people who might try to prevent us from performing our rituals), telephone calls from 
our friends afar who were celebrating Samhain in their own way, lots of sweet treats (to celebrate the New Year), a big bonfire 
(The word 'bonfire', or 'bonefire' is a direct translation of the Gaelic tine cnámh. With the bonfire ablaze, the villagers extinguished all other fires. Each family then solemnly l
it its hearth from the common flame, thus bonding the families of the village together) shared with friends, and pine needles woven into circles and then cast into the fire with a wish for the new year. We ended the day trick or treating 
(have you read "The Pagan Christ" by Tom Harpur yet? no reason to be anti-pagan. It's like saying you're anti-human. We are aLLLLLLLL pagan, people. Don't be anti-history! prove me wrong! really! do! READ THE BOOK and then prove me wrong. please.), eating delicious 
pumpkin pie (made by moi, the best EVAH!) and watching fireworks. Happy New Year! 
