Thursday, November 09, 2006

Swirling...


I've discovered again how much I love squirreling away for winter... Each Autumn it surprises me all over again how much joy this gives me! This batch was pickles! Carrots (from our garden) and eggplant pickle/relish (also from our garden).
But as I've been preparing for long winter nights, my mind has been jarred into the reminder of the brevity of life. We spend so much time and energy wishing things were different than they are... our bodies and relationships in our 20's, our relationships and our careers in our 30's, and that's as far as i've gotten... but then before you know it you're 66 and dead. That's how old my uncle was when he didn't wake up from his sleep yesterday morning. At birth he had the same value as any other wee soul. His mother adored him just like she should...


But the first part of his life was to be one of chaos and the choices he made caused a great deal of pain... And that part of his life is what so many in his family remember. But there is more. Different. He died in an accident, had a profound experience, came back, and was a changed man, full of love and acceptance and full of the wonder of life.
It took me a long time to forgive this man, but forgive I did, and even formed a strange but quite beautiful relationship with him over the miles. When his brother died (my dad), he was SO happy for my dad. His own near-death experience left him excited for the day it would happen for real... and so... I don't feel sad for him. But just like in the beginning of his life, at the end he is a soul worthy of mourning and missing and loving... He left behind some beautiful photos taken early on in his life, and just a general feeling of unconditional love. This photo is how I'm imagining him on his new adventure on the other side... What a beautiful man, hey? And this time around the chaos inside his mind is gone, and he's just full of love and light...
Good-bye Laffing Wolfe. Thank you for the photos and the laughter and the insight and the hugs. I hope this winter is beautiful wherever you are and that you have all the carrot pickles you can eat. Give my dad one of your big bear-hugs for me. Thank you for loving me. I forgive you and I love you too.

4 comments:

Chick said...

Oh what a beautiful post! And my hugs go out to you!

Dragonflydownunder said...

WoW! that is so profound! What a great way to say Good Bye to him. It interesting to think of the 3 men together in heaven...grandpa, les and ken. it warms my heart. Thankyou for your outpouring of love.

Anonymous said...

thank you for this beautiful post about uncle les. it's a wonderful way to say good bye and to remember him.

xojacq

SRJ said...

i'v been trying to remember if i can actually remember him. i don't know if i'm just convincing myself that i do when i don't. so it's really nice to hear your words and love for him.
thank you
xxx