Thursday, December 08, 2005

A real know-it-nothing

Realizing lately that I don't know anything. My whole life I've struggled so hard to prove that I know things, and now I'm realizing how fruitless this is. But it's an old habit and I'm an old dog and well, new tricks come hard... I still hear myself neeeeeeding to be right on things, but I'm quicker to stop myself from arguing so hard and just listen.
What is that? My intense physical need to believe that I'm right? That my way of thinking is the ONLY way to think? My way of mothering is the only way... My way of living... When I heartily disagree with what someone's just said, I feel this physical wave rise inside of me and then I start to make my case. My goal is just to ride the wave out and continue to listen.
Wish me luck.


cherry said...

i wish you luck. imagine if we were all the same and all thought the same? it would be boring, uninspiring. our eyes and hearts would not be opened to other experiences and ways of thinking and doing. ride the wave, wax your OWN board, fix the dings and enjoy the feeling of knowing what you DO know to be right. lets go for a surf together?! x c

Mary-Sue said...

oh! i learn so much from you. and one day i will learn to surf in your great big beautiful ocean!